Jokes and humor of casino players

Want to share a joke or a funny story about a casino or from life? This topic is for humor and jokes.

The main clown of Russian gambling, Andrey TTR, opens the topic of laughter with his fresh story about how he has never played for candy wrappers in his life and how much he listens to feedback from players.



TTR

Since streams are banned, I'm thinking of recording a few ludods in new casinos, it will be interesting to watch or is it really necessary? I really want to play live, not slots, and without any special stuff, like trying a marathon from 1k to 10k in each casino, will it be interesting for someone to watch this?

tatarin2s
I don't have...

nike158
not needed

Wind1
Life is not particularly interesting. What is there to watch in the format of a ludovod? I would also look at the slots. Had a good laugh )

ludomanister
It will be interesting if you actually throw in your money, and not the owners throw in candy wrappers. And just don't make excuses) Then of course, especially the ex-wife.

TTR

What kind of nonsense are you writing? Why would the owners throw candy wrappers at me lol :facepalm:

ludomanister
Well, I understand that you want to stream in N1, fairspin. Why would you throw it in - of course it's an advertisement for these new casinos.

TTR

Do you think that I don't have 1k for deposit or what?

ludomanister
Nothing personal, it's just that after the situation with MT I would like to see a real, exciting ludovode, like in the good old days) That's why such doubts creep into my head about candy wrappers) don't blame me.

TTR

I haven't ridden and I'm not going to use candy wrappers lol, that's absurd, if they creep in - don't look)

tatarin2s
Everyone already knows everything about these fantodians, come up with something new to promote left-wing casinos... why the hell promote all this crap!

Lowskill
I would look at ludovody, but definitely not in life and definitely not in dubious kazak. But if in some time-tested, and at normal rates, then with pleasure.

koctan
no need for that

TTR

Absolutely right, I'll post it now :redlol:

States. College. Seminar on the psychology of success. After studying an article on determination, the teacher summarizes:
- Always go towards your goal. Never give up. Achieve your goal despite all failures. - And turning to the students. - Does anyone know specific people who use these principles?
One of the students:
- Yes, this is my uncle.
- What did he achieve by using the principle of never giving up while pursuing his goal?
- Thanks to this principle, he not only lost all his money and savings in the casino, but also his car, country house, apartment and got into debt.

* * *

Abramovich said he "lost $10 billion in casinos."
Undoubtedly, one must be a very rich and at the same time, cultured person to use the word "lost" in this situation.

* * *

The casino robbery ended very unexpectedly: all the loot was bet on "seven red" and lost.

* * *

The head of the Moscow Main Directorate of Internal Affairs personally closed the underground casino.
I came to my casino in the morning and said:
- Guys! We're closing for a couple of days!

* * *

Investors joke: "The stock market is different from a casino in that in a casino they treat you to champagne before they fleece you blind."

* * *

When you go to a casino, wear your prettiest panties. They may be the only ones you'll be returning in.

* * *

A man comes out of a casino, he lost all his money. He approaches a taxi near the casino and says to the taxi driver:
- Listen, bro, give me a lift home, I have no money, I live not far from here - I'll give you double tomorrow.
- Go fuck yourself!!
- Well, I really need to, you see me here all the time...
- Go fuck yourself!!!
A man walked home. The next day he hits the casino, he wins a ton of money. He goes out into the street, looks at a row of taxis with checkers. In the last one he sees yesterday's taxi driver. He goes up to the first car and says:
- Bro, give me a lift home, I live around the corner. I'll pay 100 bucks.
- No problem, sit down.
- I just have a small request - you suck me off later.
- Dude, what are you doing... Go to...
He approaches the second car, then the third, and the entire dialogue is repeated...
Finally, he approaches yesterday’s driver and says:
- Bro, give me a ride home, it's not far from here, a couple of blocks. I'll pay 100 bucks.
- No problem, sit down.
- Great, let's go! Just drive slowly past those cars - slowly.

* * *

- Hello! Hi, darling! Mood? Excellent! Why? How else? Listen!
Won $8941 in the casino;
I am guaranteed an income without leaving my home;
I won $1632 in the lottery;
I am entitled to a reward from the fund of up to $9,000;
The transfer amount to my card was 35,849 rubles with a 0% commission!
- You idiot! Close your spam folder and go look for a job!

A blonde comes to the casino and plays roulette.
Places all your chips on the number "22". The winning number is on this number.
With an unperturbed look, she places all the chips she won on the number "22" again.
To which the croupier politely remarks to her:
- Madam, the probability of your next win is incredibly small - maybe you should put your chips on other numbers, trust my experience!
The woman, smiling, replies:
- It's okay, I have my own system of play.
The wheel was spun and the number "22" came up again. Everyone was amazed!
And so several times in a row - she keeps betting on "22" and wins!!!
The director of a half-bankrupt casino approaches this woman in despair:
- Madam! We are ruined! So tell me, what does your system consist of?
- It's very simple! I arrived in your city on the 7th, they put me up in room number 7, I arrived in carriage number 7...
“Well?!” the director exclaims, not understanding.
- What - "well?!?", three times seven is twenty two!!!

lots of old jokes...