STerrano:
When I first started playing poker and had no idea about bankroll, variance, winrate and other things, I always tried to resist the temptation to win big money right away. In this, of course, my love for statistics, probability theory and other core subjects of my department at university helped me.
At the same time, I studied the theory of forecasting and built models for roulette, and I spent about 3 months studying more than 150 strategies for playing roulette, but I never tried any of them in practice. It was enough to model 200K spins in Excel to develop an attitude towards games with negative expectation. Perhaps it was my education that helped me take bankroll, game selection and other important aspects of poker more seriously, which helped me start winning right away, from the first day of playing poker. I never risked a large amount, did not lose the bankroll at the beginning, but at the same time I did not win much, but this suited me.
I have always paid a lot of attention to the psychology of the game, and it was my observations in this area that strengthened my opinion that you can win consistently in poker, even with average playing skills.
I never had a goal to win a major tournament, earn millions and become famous. In addition, the attitude towards poker in 2006 was extremely negative and I, for example, hid from my family, friends and acquaintances for a long time what I was doing.
Tilt. First signs
For quite a long period of time, everything was going more or less smoothly. I played HU SNG for $5-$20, single-table SNGs, tournaments up to $20. Every week I put aside 10% of all the money - I just opened my wallet, took 10% from there, then opened all the poker rooms and withdrew 10%, and also withdrew 10% from webmoney. During the same period, I started doing affiliate work on mermaidpoker. This was December 2006.
On New Year's Eve, my university group and I went to Scandinavia. This trip and the purchase of a 2K laptop ate up half of my bankroll. After my return to Moscow, things went wrong in poker and I lost my entire bankroll overnight for the first time. I remember that moment very well. I smashed several things in the house, including a mouse, keyboard, vases, etc., basically, I let my emotions out for the first time. I analyzed this situation for a long time later, about a year later, when I had serious problems with tilt. But then I simply thought that physical fatigue, fatigue from the game and other factors had an effect, but not the result of the game itself. Then in "Korona" I heard a brilliant phrase that allows me to keep my ambitions to myself and always put logic above emotions and intuition: "As soon as it seems to you that you have achieved something - take a step back."
I borrowed a small amount and continued playing poker. I continued to play in the plus at small limits, I watched VODs, started posting on forums, looking for books and any useful information. I think that my approach to the game is more conservative than it seemed to my poker friends. In February 2007, I urgently needed 3K, which I did not have at that time. I changed WM to PS, lost part of it in the SNG and registered for the last 10$ in a rebuy for 3$. As a result, we shared 1st place and I immediately withdrew the entire bankroll. A month later, the situation repeated itself, I again needed 3K and I won it again in a small tournament. The need for cash-outs blew my mind, I could no longer control myself, my bankroll and my game. Within six months, I withdrew more than 15K from my bankroll, and this was always my entire bankroll. And I always started playing with NL50. I couldn't get up because of constant cash-outs. I played for days, watched VODs for days. I got up - went to play - went to bed - got up - went to play - went to bed. I played in this mode all of 2007. In May, I handed in my diploma. I played tournaments all night, in the morning I handed in my diploma with a "3" - the only three in the stream. Then we went to celebrate the delivery of the diploma at an apartment with a big group and I passed out right in the kitchen.
Why am I writing all this? I tried to get rid of tilt, I tried to suppress my emotions, but every day I was getting more and more addicted. I am not a gambling addict, I have no sense of excitement, I do not experience emotions when I bet on a sporting event, I do not try to hypnotize the slot machine, but at the same time poker took up 100% of my time and I was absorbed in the game.
Having met Vanya Demidov in the fall of 2007 in Corona, I did not understand how he could play poker for several months and then just as calmly take a break from the game for months.
It was after this that I decided to change something in my life and take on various projects. I rented an apartment and started doing affiliate business. I achieved certain results in this quite quickly. At the same time, I started teaching the game to several of my friends. This was a very useful experience. At the same time, I started studying the stock exchange business, I again spent a lot of time building models, studying the theory, I opened demo accounts on various trading platforms, developed my "theories", but in the end I never deposited a cent, since I was not sure of my result. All this distracted me from poker, I returned to my usual rhythm of life, got up in the morning and went to bed in the evening. Everything was great. I continued to play poker, tilt came from time to time, I won and lost, lost and won. I made wrong decisions in poker. I lost ... After that, I took up something else and achieved my goal.
If you bet on red in a casino and you're stubbornly unlucky, try betting on red!
