The Most Dangerous Slots (Online Slot Machines)

The irony is that the onset of this state comes slowly and calmly; a bottle of beer in your hands will further blur its boundaries.

But the end of this state occurs instantly, in less than a second: as soon as the player sees 0 in the credit, they clearly feel their point has turned into a tiny dot, and this, they think, is the end of everything. At this moment, the realization of the path they've traveled sets in.

This raises the main problem: how to manage oneself and channel the aforementioned state to one's advantage in the event of a loss, and most importantly, paradoxically, in the event of a win. Herein lies the paradox: failing to manage the second factor leads, in 9,000 cases out of 9,000, to immediate loss, that is, the first; failing to manage the first, the second (that is, winning) will never occur.

What is the intention of a sucker going into a vending machine?
Of course, to make money. That's his main mistake. There's no banter, no pun, no irony here; the word "make money" simply requires a different meaning, one inaccessible to the sucker's mind. That's the whole point: how does a sucker view a loss? A sucker views a loss as the loss of real money, which leads to a profound depression, which he believes will only be resolved by another visit to the slot machines, during which, he naively believes, he'll win back what he lost the previous time. After all, as the sucker thinks, "Okay, I wasn't lucky yesterday, but today I'll definitely get lucky, and I'll make money." Naturally, the sucker loses, and history repeats itself, and so on in an ever-increasing spiral (with each visit to the parlor, more and more money is lost).

What is the intention of an advanced slot machine player?
A true gambler goes to the slot machines with the intention of having a good time, relaxing, experiencing emotions, getting a thrill, and so on, just like going to an English club. But everything comes at a price. Any goods or services cost money—that's a given. After all, if a sucker goes to a restaurant with a glamorous woman and leaves 5,000 rubles there, wouldn't he consider that money wasted?

Calmness and cool prudence are paramount; everything else is secondary. And this secondary quality will come naturally; it doesn't need to be learned, or rather, it won't be learned anyway, because no rules exist and can exist.

Martingale
Main article: Martingale Method. This method was advertised as a 100% win-win strategy at online casinos. It's not directly related to arithmetic, but it's a related topic. The idea is to double your bet with each loss in the hopes of fully recouping your losses if you win. However, this strategy only works in a spherical vacuum, meaning the player has an infinite amount of time and money and infinite maximum bets. In reality, with this strategy, you have a 99.9% chance of winning 5 rubles in a single session and a 0.1% chance of losing 9,000. Wouldn't that seem like a profitable strategy for the player? No, because this 0.1% chance can occur after 999 or even 9,999 games, or immediately after the game starts. In either case, the casino still benefits, while the player simply risks a large sum for a paltry win. The winnings per session are equal to the minimum bet, and the maximum bet grows exponentially, damn it. And if you have someone willing to lend you three or four times the combined value of all movable and immovable property on planet Earth for an hour or two, you could clearly withdraw the interest more reliably and use it to buy yourself a small African country with a gambling industry and black slaves.

Psychology
A kosher player categorically rejects any technical tricks: buying "secrets," hacking firmware, etc. It's all a complete scam and bullshit. At best, it threatens a beating; at worst, a criminal case and a prison sentence. Naturally, only calm and level-headed people are allowed to access the machines. Hysterical individuals are prohibited from entering; they eventually lose control, which ultimately leads to suicidal tendencies. The main aspect of the problem is comparable to post-traumatic stress disorder and a sensation strikingly reminiscent of drug use.

During the game itself, a person is like a child: he is not aware of the consequences, he feels lightness and euphoria, inspiration, all troubles are forgotten, and the consciousness is directed only forward - of course, towards the jubilation of the expected win.

In this sense, a modern slot machine is no different from the so-called street "pole machines"—common, primitive slot machines that don't even have a screen. A screen is unnecessary; it merely displays a sequence of pseudo-random numbers in graphic form.

The screen is essential to keep the player engaged and keep them playing the slot machine longer. Colorful images of the game's characters, the ability to choose symbols, doubling the winnings, the soundtrack, and the design of the slot machine itself—all of this serves the psychological aspect of the game. The player feels like they're playing a quest, feeling a connection with the game's characters, and is lulled into thinking they're the ones controlling them. However, this is all false—the slot machine's processor already "knows" what to do before the first second, and only then does it command the graphics board to display a specific image on the screen.

There are several different ways the generator works (for slot machines): Virtual offset: a random number (in the range of 0-1) that determines the reel sector is added to another random number, subtracting 1 if necessary, and the new position is displayed accordingly. Infinite offset: the coprocessor calculates the entire operation time, displaying only the result generated by the bet. Win-based: a random number determines the win and its type (credits and additional games), and the machine then "draws" a combination based on it.

Basics As stated above, winning—that is, consistently making money over a long period—is impossible when playing slot machines. This is the essence, the meat and potatoes, and this is the purpose of the rigorous mathematical model of the machine. Playing consistently, the average player will always lose, without exception. However, it is possible to score a single win, or even a series of wins, at the machine. Statistically, each subsequent game is a game against the player; the more you play, the more you lose. Everything else is just philosophy and complacency.

What gamers themselves say: The most important thing is the psychological state, attitude, and philosophical approach to the game.

On the other hand, a loss is accompanied by silence. A person entering a casino might think everyone around them is doing nothing but winning. After all, even a few winning coins, which a machine dispenses on average in one out of ten attempts, can produce a more or less constant ringing in a room with only ten machines. — A.K. Dewdney, "Mathematical Illiteracy." Leaving aside the numerous secrets and methods of technical intervention in the machine (firmware modification, etc.), the essence of the phenomenon boils down to this: Slot machines are one of the most profitable business methods. The owner makes money on the so-called "return percentage," that is, the system administrator predetermines the percentage of the player's deposit that is returned to the player as winnings. This percentage varies between 80 and 95, but the average is 85-92. Most slot machines don't allow bets lower than 80%, as the manufacturer believes that this would make the machine unprofitable. It's a complete mistake to assume that if a slot machine with an 80% return to player percentage "eats" 100 rubles, it must immediately pay out the 80 rubles owed to the player. Winning combinations are just as random as losing combinations, so a slot machine can "eat" 1,000 rubles or 10,000 rubles without paying out anything, but then the next moment, it can pay out 80% (of a random amount) owed to the player. In any case, if you look at the slot machine's statistics over a relatively long period (1 week/1 month), you'll still find that the machine has paid out no more than 80% of the player's deposit. A player can only win if they hit a random payout point of 80% of the random amount that someone else has or will deposit in the future. When a player launches the game, symbols appear randomly on the screen using a pseudo-random number generator, naturally adhering to the set "payout percentage"—if certain conditions are met, the combination on the screen will be a winning one. Thus, any images on the screen or the winnings doubling (red/black, high/low) are essentially irrelevant—once the reels spin, the player has absolutely no control over the game; no matter which button the player presses, the machine already "knows" whether to display a winning combination before the reels stop.

Individual slot machines can vary significantly depending on the platform and legislation. Let's put it this way: a slot machine in a Vegas casino, on a cruise ship, and slot machines in an online casino are, as they say in Odessa, three very different things. It's important to understand that a fair slot machine is one whose payout percentage in favor of the casino is clear and fixed. In simple terms, the purpose of a slot machine is as follows: having received N money from players, redistribute an amount equal to X% of N among them, leaving NX as profit for the owner, all the while carefully portraying a hardcore surprise and overall complete unpredictability of the events. The number X depends solely on the owner's audacity. For example, in American Las Vegas casinos, this figure exceeds 90%, as stipulated by law. Moreover, such machines must be certified and have reels with a precisely defined and unchangeable order of symbols. These machines generate their revenue through statistical probability and a highly sophisticated mathematical model. Such a machine actually plays "fairly." In other countries, with different laws, all the astonishing "myths" about machines collecting and distributing money, rigging winnings, and so on, may suddenly turn out to be true. Incidentally, this is most often done not to further defraud gullible players—an honest scheme for extorting money can be more profitable—but rather to circumvent legal restrictions. Online casinos are a separate issue: what a game will show an anonymous user is unknown, as it could be a complete clone of a certified machine or the magical creation of Nigerian voodoo mathematicians. Incidentally, in this country, according to the Slot Machine Testing Rules, "The technologically embedded average winning percentage must be no less than 90%." Otherwise, the machine doesn't comply with the GOST (there is such a thing) and, theoretically, the owner suffers an epic fail. But in reality, things are a bit different: the aforementioned X fluctuated freely by 5-15% depending on the popularity of the location where it was installed, and during crises and anal penalties for parlors, it dropped to ridiculous amounts, close to zero. Thus, the last machine that complies with these GOSTs of yours is apparently the winning "Sea Battle," which required looking through a periscope and pressing tiny black buttons to launch "torpedoes." Oldfags will remember... In addition to probability theory, psychology also comes into play. Often, winnings are immediately returned to the machine. "Casinos with dozens of slot machines are filled with sounds indicating that people are winning. Every time three little cherries line up on the screen, the machine spills a handful of quarters onto the tray.

Typical signs of a sucker-gambler

Losers surf the internet. They look rumpled, unwashed, rarely shave, and get their hair cut (usually a short shaved head) maybe once every three months. They look like a modern-day thug. That is, not a "bro" from the 1990s—not quite yet, but a pretty much sunken young alcoholic or drug addict, which is what they are 101% of the time. They curse when they lose money, and are amazed by it, thinking they're "going to rob this machine of every penny," while the machine is robbing them. They turn pale when asked, "The creators of these machines paid for them, maintain them, so you can come and take their remaining money? What's in it for them?" They always believe in winning, even after 9,000 losses. They search the internet for "how to make money in (online) casinos." They chat about "how much did everyone win/lose yesterday."

A big fan of slot machines drains the cost of an apartment in a new building in just a few months.

The little guy whines, "Lend me some money, I'll pay you back in a week." He's always in debt to someone and is hiding from creditors. The result: death from a perforated stomach ulcer, an overdose, or alcohol surrogacy, often suicide. He discusses "how to trick the machine" or searches the hall for the one that's "about to give you money." With a smart look and a can of beer, he furiously types, shoving crumpled bills into the bill acceptor with his chubby little hand, and nervously puffs on a cigarette.

An unhappy wife and children, a ruined business... And what's more, life! There's a well-known case of a taxi driver who lost 120,000 rubles to a slot machine overnight, and by the next evening, he was found hanged in his own apartment. Another taxi driver's story: he sold his Lanos for half price at a "quick buyout" site, having lost it all in 36 hours of nonstop gambling. He woke up, sobered up, and went to rent it for a week. They gave him his old car. It wouldn't be so funny if it weren't so sad... He says, "I wish they'd get rid of them soon," and blames everything on the government, the gambling industry, and the machinations of the Jews. The fact that he independently transported his body from point A to point B and inserted money into the machine doesn't bother him.

"Before gambling zones open in Russia, all that's left is... to build them!" Apparently realizing that some of the Russian population simply can't resist the urge to gamble, the Duma passed a law banning slot machine parlors. But for reasons that needn't be discussed, it still allowed casinos. The owners, however, made a simple gimmick and installed a single electronic roulette wheel in each parlor. It sits in a corner, and sometimes doesn't even work. PROFIT! It wasn't until 2009 that an amendment was passed relocating all casinos to four regions, the names of which you can easily Google. However, the law still permitted instant lotteries. And since, strictly speaking, the only difference is the presence of a paper ticket, corresponding slot machines have already appeared.

Furthermore, there are still machines with "prizes" that require you to pull out a mouse, or stop the roulette wheel at the right time by pressing a button, or shoot a basketball into a hoop with the same button, or slide a key on a stick through a hole. These machines operate in the same way as regular slot machines, only instead of money, they're filled with Chinese iPhones and MP3 players. Small establishments, following the laws of the market, immediately disappeared, but almost all the major chains (Metro Jackpot, Maxbet) have gotten even more cunning. Depending on their level of brazenness, they've changed their names to "Leisure Centers" or even "Internet Cafes."

Moreover, the only sites you can access from these ancient computers are gambling sites that pay out cash to the owner (they're not connected to any internet connection, but simply emulate the same slot machines). And there's no way to find fault! Such establishments aren't officially classified as gambling establishments, as they don't actually place bets. Typically, they operate according to the following scheme: a sucker signs a so-called "claim agreement" with the cashier on a scrap of paper with several signatures. According to this agreement, the cashier accepts some funds from the sucker and undertakes to return them upon their first request. The specified means is "internet use."

The rest is simple: if the sucker loses, according to the contract, he has nothing to demand. If he wins, he "demands" his money. In short, absolutely nothing has changed except that the game's software has been ripped out of its shiny box and shoved into a regular computer. What else can be added? They did create a law banning slot machines in Russia, but after a while, they freaked out at the huge sums of money that could leak out of Russia and into neighboring Ukraine, since no such law existed there. So, Vona was urgently summoned to Moscow, and in exchange for kosher gas prices, she agreed to introduce a similar law in Moscow. And so they did. However, the problem is that Krabe gave businesses three years to prepare for the restructuring, and in Ukraine, as always, things happened SUDDENLY. At least 150,000 people were left without jobs within a week. Now the casinos and slot machines there have already reopened under the names "Interactive Club", "Internet Club", "Sports Poker Club", "Pawn Shop" and even "Products".

In March 2011, interactive clubs (with internet access costs of $5-8 per hour) were operating in Kyiv, which was rather encouraging. Underground casinos were still in operation... Screenshots of winnings on slot machines. Since 2011, virtual gambling halls have been springing up online like mushrooms after rain. These are sites where you can play good old slot machines online (after depositing money, of course), the software of which is indistinguishable from the real shiny boxes. Naturally, these companies are registered somewhere on the Isle of Man, so there's simply no one to complain to in case of a scam. So, one day, when you log into your account, instead of the 9,000 you won the day before, get ready to see a big dick with olive oil. Importantly, these sites offer to play (as they say, "test the software") with virtual credits, without registration.

You're given 1,000 credits absolutely free (unlimited!) and given the chance to play any game. In reality, these "test" games are deliberately "hyped"—they have a return rate exceeding 100%, so that the sucker, seeing the unrealistic hundreds of dollars, will rush to deposit money into the site's account. The secret is simple: real games (those offered from an account after registration) are offered with a "normal" (like in real life) return rate, at best, because the internet, unlike real life, has a much larger audience. And if a club in some remote backwater, as mentioned above, tries to retain its clientele from the neighborhood or city, then finding a new sucker online is not a problem.

Especially since on the pseudo-third-party resources where the "players" of this particular virtual room communicate, a newbie will always hear only countless praises in the dialogues between "Petya" and "Vasya" about how great their life is now with this wonderful site where they rake in money. And, by extension, what evil scammers all the other similar resources are. Overall, if you look at the overall picture, the situation has improved since the closure. Of course, those already seriously addicted to gambling addiction ("ludomania," in scientific terms) will always find a way to squander their remaining money/apartment/car, but newbies in this business, especially those who have never encountered this plague, have come out on top. It's one thing to be lured in at every turn, every few meters, by a pretty box with a pretty picture and music, from which the jingle of coins of yet another "lucky winner" (read above) can be heard. It's quite another to rummage through some murky basement looking for a fake internet club, or to understand some "lottery"—oh, how many people can handle it. And on the internet, you need a bank card to transfer money. Although, the latter is still not so straightforward.

The Internet is such a thing that there will always be a sucker willing to spend money!